During my meeting this past week, I was asked how my new work is embodying the feeling of disorientation and vulnerability. I struggled to find the words to explain, although the idea was coming together in my own head. Professor Hagan asked, is it the final product, is the process of making the piece, etc.
These questions have been on my mind since Thursday and I have been trying to piece together the correlation between my concept and my artwork. I think I am beginning to figure it out. In my eyes, it lies more in the direct process of making the art more so than the actual product.
I have been using ashes/burnt woodchips from my fireplace as pigmentation and have experimented with spraying the paper with water in order to create more of a pattern/depth to the piece. The process itself is disoriented--off course, all over the place. The piece almost creates itself, I have some control over the gradient but the patterns and way it comes together has a mind of its own. I have made several of these "ash works"and no two have been the same. They are unique and that is something that I enjoy about them. The act of breaking the woodchips down and aggressively smearing them is almost a release of emotion for me. I control how fast or slow my hand moves, how hard or soft I press, etc. I appreciate the fact that these are raw materials as well because vulnerability is a raw emotion. I believe that there is a connection between these new pieces, my concept and the process of making them.
Now.. once again, I'm not completely sure I have fully explained this in the way that it makes sense in my mind. I'm struggling to do so, but I hope that it is a bit easier for an outsider to understand. I will continue to ponder this so it will come together by the time of the final. I am grateful that I have found some sort of passion/pride again with this unexpected practice. It feels good to be excited about my project again.