stagnant

i feel like i am treading water after class presentations--which is why i haven't posted an update to my blog in quite some time. head above the surface, but not providing sufficient power to move in a forward manner. i have been reviewing the comments i received and trying to work them into my concept. for the majority of the semester, i have been pretty set on the idea of doing a self portrait, a literal image of myself. one idea offered during critique was to utilize these messy melted projects as a self portrait. i'm not opposed to this notion in the slightest, rather intimated. i was originally doing these projects with a brown color scheme to reflect my eyes. do i need to keep this color scheme? how big should the canvas be? will the concept of vulnerability come through? will the art department wonder why it took me 13 weeks to melt some paint? i feel uncomfortable with where my mindset is at this point. then again, i have learned that this awkward feeling is essential for growth. i'm hoping this mental plateau that i'm experiencing will lead me to something better than my original idea. i tried using an alternate material to create a mess. i began smashing some charcoal and using my hands to spread the ashes around. sure, it was incredibly smudged and chaotic but it didn't give me the same feeling as that small melted paint piece i made a few weeks ago. i think i have to experiment more with paint. maybe pull a jackson pollock and start pouring paint on a canvas/paper. last week i went to the faculty art show hoping to find some inspiration/clarity and i particularly enjoyed the work of Liz Atz ? i believe that was her name. i'm hoping i will be able to get back on track and push through this stagnant week.